Dear
Adventers!
Let’s
rejoice as we begin a new phase of our lives together in ministry. I have
signed a letter of agreement to take effect July 1, 2016 as Rector of the
Church of the Advent! So much has gone into this moment and I am
glad to share with you some of my and the vestry’s
deliberations.
Becoming
Rector is the culmination of a long process that began with my coming to serve
the parish more than 6 years ago as a long-term supply priest. Year by
year I have carved bits and pieces out of my schedule at the Chapel in Athens
until two summers ago when Bishop Wright directed me to make full-time service
to Advent as Priest-in-Charge my work in the Diocese of Atlanta. We
hustled to realize that change and I have been serving under a letter of
Agreement as Priest-in-Charge that expires at the end of this month of June,
2016.
When I
came on board full-time two years ago the vestry designated the entire month of
July as a vacation for me. That’s when I drove to Yellowstone. That
rest and refreshment was a great gift to me and the ministry we are still
sharing. I have asked the vestry for a similar break to begin this next
phase in service with you. Not only do I need the break, I also need some
serious and hopeful self-examination and a long overdue health screening, both
physical and mental. My prayer life could stand a return to silence and
settled-ness, too.
I have
already addressed some of my physical health matters. I was proud to have
my internist note how much weight I had lost since my last visit, over 35
pounds! My blood pressure is down to normal levels and my cholesterol
numbers are the best they’ve been in years! I am motivated and already
practicing a much healthier diet and activity level. I believe that another 15 to 20 lbs. needs to
go. When that happens I’m shaving my
goatee. But that is not all I want you
to know about me.
I have had
more than one intense emotional demand in the last year. Notable among
them was finishing my divorce. Many of you know how this process has been
prolonged and that it is finally in the judge’s hands is to say the least, long
awaited. In other ways my emotions, self-confidence and attention span
have been maxed out. I am glad to take a deep and long look at my
psychological health, at how I form and sustain loving relationships and how I
bring to my calling the best of who God has made me to be.
The image
I have is that I have been forcing you all, my friends, my family and so many
other good people who have tried to love and support me in these recent months
to work with me as if I DIDN’T have one hand tied behind my back. Sometimes
it felt like more than both hands were tied. And yet I insisted there was
little wrong or at least it was something that “I could handle.” That was a
formula for disaster and sadly this break will not avoid them all. Worse, I
have lost valuable friends, and squelched the support of the very people who
tried to love me.
I need a
break because I will not “go-all-in” with God and Advent unless I have some
comfort, some confidence that I am addressing these shortcomings in an honest,
open and finally courageous way. I will not go-all-in with one hand tied
behind my back.
In order
to get to that point of comfort and confidence, I need your prayers and a good
therapist who can stay with me and dig deep into the hurt places, the fear, the
old angers, wherever there is something binding me, keeping me from being fully
engaged, alive and free in my life, my love, my ministry.
I can’t
say much more except that I have already begun that work. I will look forward
for the moment when this work is a good and regular habit for me. This is
a longer term re-education of me so that I can live, love and serve with less
fear, anxiety, and distraction, with more gratitude, humility and kindness.
I want this for me, for my friends, for us all. I want to go-all-in
because none of us know how much longer any of us have.
Here’s the
agenda for my sabbatical: I will be out of the office this week and as far away
as Kanuga between now and July 1. I am using the time to rest a bunch, to
lead a conference, to tie up some loose ends with my house in Athens and to get
– in most cases get back – into those disciplines of prayer, study, listening,
gratitude and humility that have been a part of my best days up to now.
I will
likely need more time away than what is left in this month. I may want to
visit my daughter in Yellowstone again. I will definitely need to be in
Athens some of the time as the house goes on the market. The vestry has
agreed that my being gone as long as September 14th is worth it if it helps me
find that sense of balance in life with each other and God.
I do not
believe I will be gone that long. But that is not my first concern.
My health: physical, spiritual and mental is my first concern. I want us
all to understand that I am not the expert here. It is my job to be as
open to learning, to possibilities, and to deep scrutiny as I can be.
Finally, I
want to ask you to pray for me and I want you to join me every day at noon and
every night at 9 PM if you can. Together let’s pray this:
O God
of unchangeable power and eternal light: Look favorably on your whole Church,
that wonderful and sacred mystery; by the effectual working of your providence,
carry out in tranquility the plan of salvation; let the whole world see and
know that things which were cast down are being raised up, and things which had
grown old are being made new, and that all things are being brought to their
perfection by him through whom all things were made, your Son Jesus Christ our
Lord; who lives and reigns with you, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God,
for ever and ever. Amen.
In love,
Dann
“Peace
is the way god means things to be.”
